Smile

Smile

You only smile when we're alone. When I see your smile, my mood lightens up. If you'd only always smile.

"Stop keeping score of my smiles"

"The psycholgist said so"

"The psychologist told you to keep score of me smiling? I hate Psychologists"

No suprise there, I would too, if I knew them as well as she did.

"No, but of me being happy. It's supposed to help concentrate on good things"

A smile hushes over her lips, I add a new mark on my arm. Immediately the smile dissapears and a teardrop nets her eyes.

"You're happy when I smile? You're definitely not normal. Or more likely lying"

"No I'm not"

Silence. Why don't you say something? When you stop talking, I start thinking. I don't want to think. What can I do? Read the writing on the wall: "Fuck the System", it says. Written by those the System gave up on. Like her.
Count Spiders: Doesn't help, I still manage to think alongside.
Count stairs: One, two, three, four, Mum's coming home on the fourth. She'll argue with dad again. I shoul lock the kitchen I don't like the thought of my mum being alone with knives. Shit. Stop thinking about th future.

"Hey. Sorry I didn't believe you. I'm just not used to being treated nicely"

She's smiling again. Another mark.

"I meant it, you know that? Your smile is ... real nice"

"Yeah right. Everyone hates it"

"Yeah? Well they sure have no idea then, right?"

Silence again. I won't see that smile for a month. How can I be so desolate? She's got a much worse lot. Well, a lot of peoples lives are worse than hers. And then they think, they're so much better than us. Just because they don't have any problems. I could kill them.